Newsletter February 2018
In general, stress is related to both external and internal factors. External factors include the physical environment, including your job, your relationships with others, your home, and all the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations you’re confronted with on a daily basis. Internal factors determine your body’s ability to respond to and deal with, the external stress-inducing factors. Internal factors which influence your ability to handle stress include your nutritional status, overall health and fitness levels, emotional well-being, and the amount of sleep and rest you get.
We all react differently to stressful situations. What is stressful to one person may not be stressful to another. Almost anything can cause stress. For some people, just thinking about something or several small things can cause stress.
BENEFIT OF STRESS
According to experts, stress is a burst of energy that basically advises you on what to do. In small doses, stress has many advantages. For instance, stress can help you meet daily challenges and motivates you to reach your goals. In fact, stress can help you accomplish tasks more efficiently. It can even boost memory.
SIDE EFFECTS OF STRESS
Stress is key a for survival, but too much stress can be detrimental. Emotional stress that stays around for weeks or months can weaken the immune system and cause high blood pressure, fatigue, depression, anxiety and even heart disease. In particular, too much epinephrine (hormone) can be harmful to your heart. It can change the arteries and how their cells are able to regenerate.
SIGNALS OF TOO MUCH STRESS
It may be tough to tell when you’re experiencing good or bad stress, but there are important ways that your body lets you know that you’re struggling with too much stress. Watch out for the following warning signs:
• Inability to concentrate or complete tasks
• Get sick more often with colds
• Body aches
• Other illnesses like autoimmune diseases flare up
• Trouble falling sleeping or staying awake
• Changes in appetite
• More angry or anxious than usual
• Stress is a normal part of life that can either help us learn and grow or can cause us significant problems.
• Prolonged, uninterrupted, unexpected, and unmanageable stresses are the most damaging.
• If we don’t take action, the stress response can create or worsen health problems.
• While there are promising treatments for stress, the management of stress is mostly dependent on the ability and willingness of a person to make the changes necessary for a healthy lifestyle.
WAYS TO MANAGE STRESS
Allow yourself recovery time. Our bodies and brains need time to get back to neutral after being flooded with stress hormones for an extended period of time. Be sure to eat well, exercise, rest, relax and find ways to enjoy yourself.
Change your position or your perspective. You may not be able to change or control external circumstances causing your stress, but you can take other action, like changing your position, your role, or your perspective.
Reach out. If you’re stressed out, talk to your friends and family. If you feel like you can’t handle the stress on your own then discuss with experts.
You can develop resilience in several ways. First, take care to exercise regularly and get enough sleep, so that you can control stress more easily. The stronger you feel physically and emotionally, the easier it is for you to overcome challenges.
Focus on thinking positively, and try to learn from the mistakes you make. Build strong relationships with colleagues and friends, so that you have a support network to fall back on. Also, set specific and achievable personal goals that match your values, and work on building your self-confidence.
It’s not stress that kills us it is our reaction to it.
THE HALF IRONMAN TAG
I am Satyajeet, Electro-Technical Officer, currently working with Anglo-eastern Ship Management. In this regard I would like to share my experience about attaining the Half Ironman tag by completing 70.3 ironman in Delhi triathlon championship on 5th of Nov 2017.
It all started on good vessel M.V. Delphis Gdansk managed by Anglo Eastern Ship Management. When I saw Capt. K. S. Thomas running for 7-10km straight during workout. This encouraged me to take a step towards my age old dream to be an iron-man. I am very thankful to him as I have already taken first step to acheive my target.
Many people think, on a vessel its hard to find time for your hobbies or anything besides your work. But I have seen exceptions like Cadet Mr. Arjun Tiwari, 3rd officer Mr. Yuvraj Ghai, Capt. K.S. Thomas , OS Mr. Paul Titus and many more in various fields which helped me a lot in my cause.
I started work out on vessel only from 5km running and signed off at 21 km in over 2 hours time. After signing off I took a due break for family and get back to my training. I started preparing for 1st stage of becoming an Ironman which is to complete a half Ironman.
As this is not a famous sport in India, Half Ironman is basically a race which consists of 2Kms swimming, 90kms cycling and 21 km of running in given sequence without any break. These make it Costly and Physically as well as mentally tough.
I started my training targeting a time anything below 6 hours.It took over 30 hrs training every week which doesn’t matter once you cross the finish line.
On 5th of Nov Triathlon started at 5:30 in the morning at Talkatora Stadium, New Delhi. I was quite nervous while taking my cap to start in astonishing view of Talkatora stadium but as soon as swimming started only thing I remember was sacrifices my mother made for me, which let me put a step on the start line.
Thanks Mom for last three months to keep pressure away from me while training.
After completing swimming I got crashed on pool tiles due to wet feet, frosted swimming goggles and floor tiles getting an impact on hips and back of the head but volunteers helped me to get back on the track. After this, I made a mistake in taking the wrong route for cycling which made me do about 8 km more than required distance. But these things matters least when you are into an event.
Prior to Triathlon everybody doubted my decision looking at toughness of event but I always replied ‘Either I will Finish it proudly or come out on a stretcher’ and later one was never an option. But on such distances self motivation is a must.
It was a moment of pride when I saw the finish line with lot of people around to cheer up. Later on when I checked timings for race it was a surprise for me to complete it in 5 hours and 17 min. (52 min swimming,2 hour 34 minutes cycling, 1 hour 43 min running and 8 min transition time). I finished 5th in overall ranking even after doing extra miles.
Its been such a great experience for me. Now I am targeting to go for Ironman in Malaysia next November. Hope everybody around as well as shipping environment will support me to achieve my dream and I promise to share next part by next year end after shooting an Ironman as I hate being on a stretcher.
~ ETO Satyajeet
WAY TO KASHMIR
“Let’s commence at the beginning. The tale of Kashmir will always start with that cold breeze that hits your face as soon as you get down at Srinagar airport and stays with you faithfully till the end. The story will, as it must, talk of the beauty of the land – of the omnipresence of the Himalayas in every frame, and the streams that always ran parallel to our tempo travellers throughout the trip.
It will talk of the apple orchards and the saffron fields you read about in your Travel Guide, but it must not forget the Chinars – those magnificent trees with trunks so large that you could not help wonder if this is what Enid Blyton had described as the faraway tree.
What the guide books never tell you, for they are written only to glorify, is of a shadow that shrouds the land. Of the barbed wired check posts that you start seeing right from when you leave the airport, of the soldiers standing in the farms, of the uniformed man watching you from his makeshift asbestos cabin near the Dal.
When we read of Kashmir on travel websites, they tell us of the pretty houseboats on the Dal, Gulmarg’s cable car (the highest in the world) and skiing track, and Sonamarg’s popularity as a snowboarding and horse riding destination. Visit Kashmir, they tell us, to spend your honeymoon, to live in the land of the Gods, to ski, to paint, to love. A tourist’s heaven, they say excitedly.
It’s a state that desperately depends on tourism to make daily ends meet. It is the story of the handsome Firdaus, a 17 old History Hons student, sitting in hispheran (local Kashmiri male robe) in a dingy shop just outside Gulmarg, renting out snow jackets and shoes to tourists eager to ride up the highest cable car in the world.
It is also the story of Pervez, that young lad from Sonamarg, whose job is to seat tourists on underfed, overworked ponies and then guide them uphill over 6 kilometers of grass, slush and rocks to those snow-white hills where we ski and sled so joyfully.
Everywhere in Kashmir there are hundreds of young men like Firdaus and Pervez, and that includes the courteous bell boys at the Adhoos hotel – them with graduate educational backgrounds but no jobs that these degrees should have rightfully procured.
Kashmir has had a torrid past, but conditions are now improving. The last 4-5 years have seen tourists come in thousands, the most in the last 20 years. And that’s how we came in too, to ride the shikaras on the Dal, to tramp through the Mughal Gardens, buy original saffron and dry fruits, to run up pretty white mountains and click a dozen pictures in all these places.
~ Cdt. Ravi Teja Garaga, M. T. BW Iridium
KARGIL TO KANYAKUMARI ON MY BIKE
C/E – LPG pool, Age – 55 years
Working with AESM since 1999
Since my engineering college days, It was my dream to ride to Top of the word LEH & LADAKH. Which I accomplished this year. As soon as I signed off from the good vessel M.V. LPG/C Crystal Sunrise. The long withheld dream of mine kept burning bright in my heart.
Somewhere in my heart I had decided that I won’t wait more. Signed off and bought Royal Enfield bullet-Thunderbird 500cc on 16th June 2017 and started customizing my bike for the long journey.
Finally on the night of 4th july, all was in place and I was to start early morning. Amidst a little reluctance and hell lot of excitement I started my Solo bike ride from Chennai to Leh with fully loaded bike.
On the first day I did 740 km till Hubbli-Karnataka. Next day reached Sion Mumbai and stayed for the night . Next day morning 6:00 AM was riding towards Gujarat.
On the way I found a youngster group going to ladakh, I joined them. With the group started riding to Ahmedabad-Jaipur-Delhi-Ludhiyana-Patnitop-Sonamarg-Kargil war memorial- Kargil and I reached Leh on 17th July. On the way to khardungla my group had to stay behind due to one of their bike problem and I was once again on my own and continued my riding to Khardungla.
At khardungla, amidst the vast beautiful terrain,I felt age is not a limit to achieve anything. Then I continued my ride upto Nubra valley, still I was thirsty for more; hence I decided to ride further and further into the wilderness. Finally after 77km, till I reached TURTUK… A beautiful village, the last village any tourist can go near Siachen Army post .
The scenic beauty from Nubra valley to Turtuk village along Shyok river was amazing and mesmerizing and spell bounding and what not, honestly I can’t put my feelings into words. Any rider should not miss this stretch.
Next day after visiting last Army post at Turtuk, I rode back to Nubra Valley for night stay. At Nubra valley enjoyed the Twin hump camel ride and the local delicacies. The locals were astonished to see a Tamilnadu registered bike so far away from home.
Next day 20th July, 2017 I met another partner on the road (Mr Narayanan C.A from Banglore). We rode back to LEH & went to Pangong lake by bike. This stretch was the most horrible & difficult part of my journey. Finally the ordeal paid off and I reached the famous 3 idiots lake (pangong lake).
On 22nd July we started riding from LEH to Manali. In between we stayed at Sarchu in a tent shelter. We had crossed three mountain passes & around 300 km of Off-road with amazing mountains and colourful valley view . Finally with our hearts brimming with happiness we started our journey back home on 22nd July.
Reached Sarchu on 23rd –Manali on 24th -Great noida on 25th –Jhansi on 26th –Nagpur on 27th –Hyderabad on 28th -Krishnagiri on 29 th- Kanyakumari on 30 th, & finally reached Chennai safely on 31st July. Completed the coveted KARGIL to KANYAKUMARI ride- A total distance of 9,200 km covered in 27 days with my bike Royal enfield ThunderBird 500 cc.
Main place covered :Sonamarg, Jojila pass 11649 ft alt, Kargil War Memorial,Fotula top 13479 ft, Magnetic hill,Khardungla ,Turtuk village, Siachen border, Panggong Lake 4250 m ,Changla pass 17688 ft,Taglangla 17582 ft Alt, Baralacha la 4890 m Alt & Rohtang pass 3890 m Alt.
~ C/E Annamalai Nithianandam
FROM SAILORS DIARY
To Love a Sailor
Love a sailor cause he’s the best
and u know he’s diff from the rest.
Love him cause his heart is true
and every day adrift it misses u.
Love him cause he knows the pain
In saying goodbye till u meet again.
Love him cause he sails to earn
But with a chance that he might not return.
Love him cause he chose a path
That is filled with thunder storms n wraths.
Love him with ur gorgeous eyes
Through all the kisses n even the good byes.
Love him cause he has overcome and been
Through things no land lubber has ever seen.
Love him cause he gives his best
Cause he was trained to always excel the test.
Love him cause he always on time
N knows the impt of saving his dimes.
So love him loads and through every season
Cause loving a sailor needs no reason.
~ Cdt. Sean Sam Gallyot
Wish I Stayed Another Day
“Pick up the bags, it’s time to go”
The clock strikes six and tells me so.
I look in the mirror and hear it say
Wish I stayed another day.
A mental note of Things to do
Flush my mind and take me through
Pending tasks, spread as hay
Wish I stayed another day.
Banks and cards and loans and bills
Undone signs on deeds and wills.
Fees and rents I could not pay
Wish I stayed another day.
I call for angel to help me pack
She gets the shoes and brush from rack
With silent words, she blocks my way
Wish I stayed another day.
A visit to zoo, a splash in pool
A surprise pick from gate of school
“You promised me!” her tears say
Wish I stayed another day.
The lady I love is packing my meal
With tender hands and a heart of steel
Where hundred pains and problems lay
Wish I stayed another day.
I hold her near and then realise
I didn’t even hug her once or twice
She smiles at me with nothing to say
Wish I stayed another day.
Unsaid words and unsung tales
Compliments, wishes, cards and mails
All change hands in a mystic way
Wish I stayed another day.
Dad is mute and strong as ever
Speak of his fears, he will never
Hiding his tears by gazing away
Wish I stayed another day.
His pair of specs and bottle of rum
I promise to get, next time I come
He smiles the way I’ve seen him grey
Wish I stayed another day.
On my ship in lone and longing
Tired and spent I close my eyes.
Faces from home appear to say.
Wish you stayed another day.
I Promise To Love You Until
The Salt Leaves The Sea
I want you to hold my hand
I want you to walk with me on the sand
I want you to call me at two in the night
I need you to tell me that you want to hug me tight
Believe it or not you mean more than life to me
And I promise to love you until the salt leaves the sea
I want you to know how terribly I miss you
I want you to know that my love for you is true
I want to lie next to you and hear you breathe
I will protect you from evil and act like a sheathe
You are eating my heart away and there isn’t left much in me
And I promise to love you until the salt leaves the sea
~ Cdt. Swapnil Ratra
The Accidental Mariner
This tale is about a boy merely eighteen
Fearing the future, had just entered his teens
He had no plans of coming out at sea
But almighty disagreed to let him sit free
With mere luck and marksheets filled with ducks
He managed to get into this profession where people earn a lot of bucks
For the world this job was a paid holiday
But this guy was working for 24 hours a day
Braving the hurdles and gulping the abuse
He cleared second mates in first attempt and became a news
And then he boarded a vessel again
But this time he was a third mate
Since then he has been effortless and never has he failed
And for me , I got an elder brother on the first vessel I sailed.
~ Cdt. Swapnil Ratra
YOUNG ACHIEVER MS. AVANTIKA KAMBLI
C/O Rohan Kambli’s daughter Ms. Avantika Kambli represented India in the Junior Mental Calculation World Championship in Bielefeld, Germany from 29th Sep to 05th Oct, 2017.
She is one of the youngest contestants from the country.
~ Capt. Melwyn Dias, M. V. GLENPARK
Life on board is challenging, yet can get monotonous with the same old routines, on long voyages.
We, on the LPG/C “BW THOR” decided to do something afresh, and there was an enthusiastic “YES” when a show of hands for a Costume Party was called for.
And boy, what a turn out it was!!!
From Pirates shackling up their Captive, to a jolly Pope; from a mystic “Marine” baba to an Arab Sheikh; from the biblical Moses to a sporting Julius Caesar; the imagination and creativity of all on board at short notice left everyone spell-bound, and the final parade had everyone in splits.
An indoor get together party followed soon after, and it was time well spent with fond memories to cherish for many more voyages!
~ Capt. Navin R. DSouza, LPG/C BW THOR
“GALLEY KA SULTAN” CONTEST
Cruising on high seas in Indian Ocean, was a pleasant morning of Sunday, the 17th Sept ’17, with golden sunrays emerging on horizon to conclude the twilightagainst clear blue skies and mild sea breezes.
In short, a perfect recipe to start a fun-filled weekend was on cards and there was no reason to miss it either. A quick improvisation by crew raised the horn for “Galley ka Sultan” contest inviting everyone to show their culinary skills.
Enrolments made, prizes announced and soon the budding chefs overpowered the reigns of chief cook in galley, a welcome change for him as well. No latter did the aromas of spices and beats of music marooned the decks and inmates soon unfolded themselves from the daily ship’s routines.
By the stroke of noon, the lunch tables were full with 5 star Indian DIWALI CELEBRATION GANPATI CELEBRATION and continental cuisines inviting everyone to ping their taste buds.
Following it, was a rare but pleasant dining experience, where the entire crew dined together in crew mess and highly appreciated the efforts of participants. 3/Off Mahesh emerged as winner for his varied continental preparations, not too far behind were GS Abhijeet, Cadet Naresh and OS Amit kumar.
The event concluded with bidding farewell to 11 crew members awaiting the arrival of next port of call where their routine reliefs are planned. Indeed the event owed them gratitude for their services on board and wasn’t there a better way to say, you all will be missed in the family.
~ Capt. Amit Jaiswal
CMA CGM Utrillo
FIELD TRIP TO HANS JENSEN LUBRICATORS FACTORY, HADSUND, DENMARK
It was a 3 day programme conducted from 14th to 16th September 2017 at Hans Jensen Lubricators, Denmark regarding the latest cylinder lubrication system which is employed on our gas carriers fitted with ME propulsion engines.
The main aim of the course was to understand the operation & functioning of the HJ lubrication system, Evaluating the cylinder condition and performance, Trouble shooting, On-going problems & challenges, Daily checks on the system & maintenance schedule.
The Programme was accompanied by factory tour and hands on session on overhauling of the HJ lubricating components. The course was informative, hands on and was actively participated by each candidate. There were lots of discussions during the sessions from technical & commercial point of view. The programme was concluded with a dinner session held by the host.
The course was attended by Marine Superintendents Mr.Chatraj Thirtha, Mr.Sunil Unni from AESM Singapore, Mr.Sanjay Datta from AEMTC, AESM Sea going staffs C/E Namasivayam, C/E Divyakanth Pal & 2/E Balaji Ganesh.
~ 2/E Balaji Ganesh
PHOTOS AT SEA
MY MARATHON JOURNEY
FIRST FULL MARATHON OF MY LIFE…..AT SHRIRAM PROPERTIES BENGALURU MARATHON – on 15th of Oct 2017….completed in 04 hrs 41 minutes…feeling on top of the world…indeed a great experience…. with awesome weather at Bengaluru…. great event….superbly organized….really world class by NEB Sports starting / finishing at Kanteerava Stadium.
It’s been 9 months and a week since I reluctantly took up running when my friend and colleague Mr. Rajeev Sarang pushed me to attend a 10 km run at Hiranandani Powai on 8th of Jan 2017 which was sponsored by my company where huffing and puffing somehow I managed to complete the run in about 80 mins.
Since then the interest arose and I thought I will do a Full Marathon someday although I was too scared because of my high BP. But slowly and steadily I started and there was no looking back. The boost came up when a seasoned runner laughed at me when I told him my thoughts that I want to run a full marathon; and so did other by-standing runners.
I was told that you should run at least 2 to 3 years and do half marathons consistently before even thinking of FM. But I was determined to do it within a year and so started the practice. It was difficult after putting 11 to 12 hrs in office and related commuting.
Initially I practiced walk/jog/run in the night 21:00 to 22:30 plus climbing stairs 15 floors in my building; and 7 floors in office before lunch time. Soon I started to get up at 04:00 AM and complete the practice in the morning so that evening time could be devoted to family and kids.
For someone like me with no athletic capability it was really difficult; felt really fatigued and sleepy in the office… slept off in trains…a few times even went to next station and came back but didn’t stop my practice.
Some friends even said I was trying too soon too much and not good. I didn’t bother and continued with the practice harder and harder; whether it was raining or hot summer months.. whether in Mumbai or while travelling elsewhere…. learnt about MRR group and joined them in Bandra NCPA monthly run….met big runners and motivators like Bijay Nair, Ram Venkatraman, Giles Drego, Samuel, Manasi Samudra , Sunil, Chitu, Puru, Meghna, Simta, Sudhir, Hemanta Kumar Pati and many more….made many friends along. Each character was inspiring in their own way.
I learnt real time management in the process and then through some friends came in contact with Savio stars training group where I met the great Savio D’souza sir and came to know some more big runners like Abbas Sheikh, Sukanto Roy, Prem Rajani, Devraj Rupchandani, Lovkesh Bhatia, Diana Mehta Major, Monik Kapadia, Sanjay and many others who became friends and were all inspirational in their own way.
Another great inspiration came as Cdr. Sunil Handa whose story of endurance and achievements specially the story of his gruelling and challenging 222K Ladakh ultra marathon; and meeting him in person during one of the runs worked as a big moral booster for me.
Thereafter, I happened to come across Major D. P Singh – the great blade runner and Mr. Amarjeet Singh Chawla – a runner with visual disability; and Samir Singh who was doing 100 Km X 100 days, along the Marine Drive and the determination of these great people made me realize that there is no limit to human determination.
A friend posted an inspirational quote sometimes back by M. K. Gandhi “If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning” and I made it my favourite motivational quote which kept me going.
With guidance from Google and runner friends, came to know of and got to read several marathon training books as well as motivational books in the process. In fact while travelling to Bengaluru yesterday I went reading “They Inspire” by Bijay Nair and “Run less Run Faster” by Bill Pierce, Scott Murr & Ray Moss. Meanwhile, my old friend Mr Rajeev Sarang kept motivating me and giving me useful feedback all along and I am grateful to him for same.
Also, Savio D’souza sir kept guiding me all along during his training sessions and I am really thankful to him. Unfortunately out of his 3 day sessions I am able to attend only once a week i.e. Saturday, due to office timings. Finally special thanks to my wife Garima Singh for tolerating my adventures and supporting me all along; and my dear children Aarna and Shourya for allowing me to cut across into their allotted time during practise; and my younger brother Kunwar Vivek Singh who made all arrangements for me in Bengaluru, collected my BIB in time, accompanied me to the venue and made all arrangements to ensure that I could run comfortably; and to my parents whose blessings are always by my side; and all my runner friends who have made me feel so energetic.
My running practise includes at least 4 runs per week (1 speed interval or hill run, 2 days medium distance run of 10 to 15km and a long distance run 21-30km on weekends), one or sometimes 2 days of cross training / Gymming / Cycling and stair climbing as and when time permits.
I try to rest once per week as far as possible. I use Asics neutral shoes (Gel Nimbus 19 and Dynaflyte) for running as per recommendations from Asics store Bandra (as per their Gait Analysis). My diet is mostly vegetarian which includes 3 to 4 types of fruits, few dates, few almonds and milk daily along with the usual Indian lunch/ dinner comprising of Chapatis, Rice, Dal, Vegetables and Sweets. Occasionally I also take non-vegetarian diet such as eggs, chicken and fish.
After the long runs, recently I have started taking on Whey protein and during the races GU gel to supplement my intake. This has suited me perfectly. So far I have successfully completed running more than 2000 km this year already comprising of two 10k, four Half Marathons, one Satara hill half marathon, one 25 K BNP Endurathon, one 32k Durshet Forest marathon trail run, one Full Marathon, one cycle race and two Duathlons.
I am preparing and aspiring to run many more half / full marathons and ultra runs in the coming months. Also, pacing for 2 hrs 50 mins bus in upcoming Indian navy half marathon and would request friends to join in big numbers.
Running has become a passion for me now and I hope to continue running with same zeal and zest always and motivate others along to run. I have tried to put all the practical information which suited me and may not be equally compatible to everyone as human body is complex and behaves differently for every individual.
My suggestions to all new runners will be that listen to your own body and decide what is best for you. At the same time I hope that this blog of mine is able to give useful feedback to my fellow runners and guides someone
~ Capt. K S Singh , QHSE Superintendent
WOMEN THE WIND BENEATH OUR SAILS
My husband Chief Engineering Officer Andrew Curran completed 15 long and illustrious years at sea with Anglo Eastern Ship Management Ltd. It was indeed a proud moment for his family and him. This achievement gave us the opportunity to attend the annual seminar held in Mumbai. The ladies seminar conducted on 21st Feb was a nice, well organised program for all the wives of the seafarers. I especially enjoyed it because it was presented by a psychologist.
Being a psychology graduate myself and working as a psychological counsellor, the topics and sessions felt familiar interesting and relevant. There were relevant topics discussed, about emotional resilience, on how to be a great source of strength to our husbands and also on how to handle emergencies at home.
These are scenarios that we face in our daily lives but rarely do we sit and pay attention to how it needs to be handled when the situation arises. So having these sessions were helpfully enriching.
During one of the sessions some of the wives raised a question about having similar sessions for the men, so they are better equipped to handle the emotions of their better halves who singlehandedly handle all the responsibilities at home . Be it running errands at home, taking care of emergencies, handling the finances and their own careers.
Being a woman, these are things that we take care of with the least of efforts. What makes a disconnect is mainly not having someone to replenish you emotionally, and although being away there are a few things that a seafarer can do to help their partner feel their emotional strength.
So I thought of jotting down a few pointers that seafarers can do to help their wives feel more supported and connected.
1. Stay connected: no matter what the situation, send her a line or two to say that you are fine. Your wife or loved ones need to know you are doing well on a daily basis. If there are no signals or internet does not work on board get in touch at the soonest and apologize for the days you were not able to connect. Your wife needs to know that you are waiting to connect to her as much as she is waiting to hear from you.
2. Remember: Remember important dates, birthdays, anniversaries, children’s events, school events, neighbours wedding day(only if your wife has to attend, if not you’re in trouble) Yes every event that is important to your wife is important for you to remember. If you have a hard time with this, write it down, put reminders on your phones, ask colleagues to remind you. Do what you need to, but remember. Oh Yeah, also remember the day you left home to join ship cause your wife is counting every single day since then.
3. Express your love: Remind her that she is loved and missed, yes in words, and don’t wait to come back home to express this.
4. Pay Attention: Like every man deserves respect, every woman deserves attention. Listen attentively; understand the underlying emotions, most often than not half the problems are solved by paying attention. (Remind her of the conversations you’ll were having the last time the phone got disconnected. Ask her about that job opportunity that she was considering, ask her about the complaint she had about her mother-in-law anything that makes her feel like you actually payed attention.
5. Acknowledge: Acknowledge all that she does when you are not around. Your wife takes up double duty when you are not around, so acknowledge that and even thank her for donning that hat so well. Mrs.Chandana during her session at the seminar had rightly said that people look at the Louie Vuitton bags (no I don’t have one yet) the designer shoes and the travel souvenirs and assume that a sailor’s wife has it all, they forget the emotional void and the unspoken constant worry. It’s up to you to fill this void even while away at sea.
Calm seas and smooth sailing!!
~ Lorraine Curran, Counselling Psychologist, W/O – C/E Andrew Curran
REACHING OUT TO THE MARGINALIZED
~ Mrs Kavita Rawat, W/O Capt. Varun Rawat
CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS ONBOARD